My Trip to Vegas

I used to think anyone with a blog was a self-centered egomaniac so being one I figured I should have a blog so everyone can read about an interesting life!
Actually my life is not interesting, quite the opposite, but even lonely losers deserve to be heard from, right?
So where do I begin? The beginning would be a good place, but just turning fifty made me realized I forgot a lot. I think I will just start backwards. So let me start with my recent trip to Las Vegas.
I haven't had a vacation in years and have decided to combine a vacation with a work trip. I left the bar business to pursue a career as a teacher. I had an epiphany after 9/11 and decided to "ride into hell for a heavenly cause!" (stealing the quote from the song "The Impossible Dream")I enrolled into collage to become a case worker and save children. After four years of school and graduating, I realized I didn't have the stomach to march into houses and take children, never mind hell. I tried a few different career moves before settling into a teaching career. When I teach I feel one with the universe. I am making that difference I so wanted to do for so many years!
Living in New Jersey can be hard and expensive so when my friend Casper planted the seed of the joys of living in Las Vegas, I jumped on board. He is an elementary school counselor and suggested I send a resume, which I did, this was before the budget cuts. Casper is a good egg and suggested I go out for myself. I set it up for Spring Break. I booked it through Priceline....and this is the story of my flight:

I have the most miserable, aged flight attendants that are working in the airlines! They have these stoic stone faces and speak emotionlessly. First class is so worth the money. I'm flying back on Midwest- if anyone knows anyone...
People are gross when they eat- New rule if you are ugly you should not eat in public-
I am in hell!
I have no fear of crashing just living with the memories of this flight!
This one flight attendant is oddly fascinating- he has a turtle neck with his ID chain with a salt and pepper color wig on. He has the botox forehead, but the wrinkle marks are still vi sable.
I turn on the TV and I see "Design to Sell" I figure it's worth the price of head phones. I ask the salt and pepper flight attendant for a set of headsets. "One moment" he says as he brushes by me and starts selling them in the front...I am row 37. He could just let me have the head set. By the time he gets to me the show is over and so is my desire for the head sets. "I thought you wanted a pair?!" HE SNAPS AT ME! I shoot back, "The show is over, like your career."
The food and beverage cart comes out- YES! A BEER! -
What ever happened to giving a meal with your flight? The woman flight attendant tells me of the great salad they have-my mouth waters only to find out the fat family in front of me took the last ones! Besides the fact I didn't know that airlines could sell tickets to whales, they have to decide to diet on my flight!"We're watching our weight." So am I- I am watching it bounce from one side of the plane to the other. I am dying for a beer until "old salt head" informs me the beer is warm.
Yeah I got a real bargain!
What ever happened to the "friendly skies?"
I ask for water and they give me a cup of aqua plus -generic h2o-This is DELTA and they cannot afford to give you a bottle of Poland Springs, which is still s step down from Evian.
FIRST CLASS staff is so friendly and nice. Coach is just what you expect- I have one hour and coach is just what you would expect.
Trust me you get what you pay for-unfortunately these workers don't realize they are the bottom of the barrel and they now work for priceline.com mentality people.
I press the service bell and wait....and wait ...and I find out my connecting flight is across the airport in Salt Lake City! I tell them I have a friend stopping by to meet with me at the airport.
I cannot wait until this flight is a faded memory- I guess I will have to live to be 100. Wyoming has a town call bill, and one called Daniel, and Kirby, Big Sandy and Morton-sounds like the Mickey Mouse Club role call...I don't know why I find that interesting to write about, it must be the altitude.
This guy just took his wife's salad out of her trash bag and finish eating it. GROSS! The guy behind me is hoc-pheliming! A mother decides the aisle is her daughters runway and walks up and down with her. This one flight attendant is watching me write so I tell him I work for an on-line travel agency and I'm writing a review of my experience- he is nice to me.
A WWII, American Red Cross jacket wearing vet just fell in my lap-literally! Why? God why?
First class just got their dessert, I am still picking peanuts from between my teeth (my floss is in my over head) the salt/pepper flight attendant suggest I use a piece of cardboard.
First class sucks! The flight attendants are probably flossing their teeth for them! I understand the Titanic so much clearer now.
Now they are trying to sell the left overs-peanut M&M's and broken Pringles, they open the First Class curtain and I can smell the complimentary red velvet cake in First Class- How cruel!
Ha! HA! The man who ate his wife's salad grabbed two soda's and they spilled on him! KARMA...
Oh! Hell! His seat is wet so they sit him next to me!
I hate Karma!
He is trying to read what I am writing - You have a piece of lettuce in your beard- (he reads it)
He is trying to tongue eat it! GROSS!!!!
38 more minutes!
WHY!!! I'm a good person, maybe I'm not...I am a teacher and I am hoping the little runway girl falls flat on her face!
We arrive early! That GOD!!!! I met my friend who I haven't seen in seven years and I forget about the most miserable trip on earth! That's what friends are for!