Eddy's Pity Party

Eddy’s Pity Party
So I get to my car after work only to find that someone backed into my car. Someone either K turned or pulled out of a drive way. I want to cry. I just spent the week “day” subbing after finishing a long term teaching sub position. I found out that the district I am in will probably not be hiring next year. I have to find a job for the summer and hope for a teaching position for next fall. I just buried my friend’s father who was like a second father to me. He always had me sit down and tell him what was happening with me- just like my dad. He listened and gave me advice-just like my dad. I didn’t take the advice-just like I never took my dad’s. As I looked at him lying in a coffin I feel guilty because his sons NEVER made him feel like he was a burden and I always made my dad feel like one. Whenever we went out to dinner he would embarrass the hell out of me! He would order a hamburger deluxe without the pickle, lettuce and tomato and no cole slaw. I would argue with him –“
“Why order the deluxe if you don’t want what makes it a deluxe? “ “
I just want the fries.”
“Then order a hamburger with an order of fries.”
“It’s fifty cents more that way.”
“I’ll give you the fifty cents.”
Fifteen minutes later…”Where’s my burger?”
“You ordered it well done.” ….
”So?”
“It takes time for them to burn it.” …
Burger arrives and is sent back because the pickle touched the burger bun…
”I can’t have pickle touch my bun. I am allergic to pickles”
“You are not allergic to pickles.”
“They don’t know that.”
The man was kicked out of a Friendly’s, an ihop, a Sizzler’s and a hot dog stand. Who gets banned from a hot dog stand? My dad.
I miss him every day but if the truth be told I don’t miss going out to dinner with me. Losing my friend’s dad was like losing my dad all over again and it didn’t help to find that he is buried in the same cemetery as my dad.
Thursday morning I woke up so excited. As a substitute teacher you get to know many kids and watch them grow. For the past two years I was exclusive at one school and watched these children grow into terrific kids. At the beginning of this year I was sent to another school for a long term and wasn’t able to meet these kids until Thursday! I usually park my car in back of the school, but I was in a hurry this morning and ended up parking on a neighboring street. I go into the school and am greeted by the little chick-lets that I have seen grow through the years. They all smile and make me feel so good to be a teacher.
At Lunch time I went to my car and my jaw dropped! Someone had hit between the driver’s door and front wheel making opening the door near impossible. It opens slightly and I literally had to inhale until I turned purple to slide into the car. A HIT AND RUN and I am driving a car that belongs in a crash derby. WHY ME! Is all I can think? Where is my good luck?
I think to myself I need to get away. A friend of mine invited me up to Rhode Island. He invites me every three months and every three months he finds a reason to cancel. I just want a few days away to just clear my mind. Take a vacation from life. He promised and was making plans and at 2:30 I get a text message, “My boss wants me to work this week-end. I haven’t said yes yet.”
So here I am at the end of the week having a pity party for myself! Why is God doing this to me? Why can’t I have one GOOD day? Why can’t I have some happiness? !!!!
I have no hope left and just want one break; a teaching job, a new car, a glimmer of light to relight my hope- but I get nothing.
I find myself on the track and run to forget. I can’t concentrate on the run so I run over to the “Stop and Shop” to buy a salad for dinner. I get my lettuce and tomatoes and head to the self-service express line. There is person checking out and one waiting. I get in line and the man in front of me is frustrated that it is taking so long. I start getting frustrated myself. I see this tired looking woman. She looks old, but you can tell it’s from life taking its toll on her. It is apparent that her teen age son suffers from palsy. He is trying to help her take things out of the cart. The guy in front of me is making noises and getting agitated. The teen ager takes a jar of pickles and gets nervous from this guy mumbling and drops the pickles. The jar breaks. Everyone jumps! The guy in front of my storms off screaming, “Damn retard!” The woman yells at the son for trying to help and stares at me in anger. I find calmness in the chaotic moment. I look at her and say, “God must love you a lot to send you such a special son.” She looks at her son and smiles. “He is my life.” I smell the pickle juice and think of my dad. All the managers come to help clean up the mess.
I walk home from the store thinking how lucky I was to have the opportunity to go on job interviews. I see people at a bus stop and I think my car still runs. And as far as Rhode Island is concerned, I can do that any week. Compared to some people’s lives my problems are bumps next to the mountains they have to climb.
I think of my dad and I realize people don't come back to you in dreams and visions, telling you how great you are. They come back to you in actions that remind you of them and it's their way of saying, "You did good." I think it's ok to throw a pity party as long as you know when the party is over and you get back into the world of the living.